Welcome to this blog! As you will notice, it’s not only about the Enneagram, but also on inner growth in general. However, since what I am exploring is the Enneagram, the centres and the instincts (among other things), I’m assuming that most of you know about these things. But if you don’t, there will be plenty here for you anyway 🧡
Cicci Lyckow Bäckman
The one who blogs 😉Latest posts
”Whip-and-carrot” or self-compassion? Critical aspects of working with the instincts
Any inner work, and working with the instincts in particular, requires a generous helping of self-compassion. When the ego gets involved — and it likes to do that 😉 — sometimes we fall prey to a “whip-and-carrot” approach to our own evolution. From a purely transactional standpoint, this seems reasonable. But here’s why it’s not. In our world, we’re used to achieve things with force. Yes, all of us — not only Eights, but most everyone. Study hard, get the grades. Push yourself in exercise to get stronger and fitter. Work hard to get more money, credit, opportunities, or whatever…
A bunch of characteristics or an energetic climate — some thoughts on traits, behaviours and type descriptions
“Focus on the motivations, not traits and behaviours.” ”Anyone can do that, the important thing is WHY.” Sound familiar? Any self-respecting Enneagrammer at least tries to keep this in mind, and some of us frequently remind others of these things. So why, then, are type descriptions still packed to the hilt with descriptions of traits and behaviours? If you’ve read my blog, it’s probably not news to you that I take some issue with how Enneagram types are sometimes carelessly described, in a manner that both, in the short term, leads to confusion and, longer term, erodes the model as…
Why understanding and awareness of instinctual drives is integral to inner growth
What is real inner growth? Is it identifying and detaching from the ego? Is it owning your feelings? Is it learning to be still, to voluntarily cease thinking, to float above everyday pains and sorrows? Is it not succumbing to angry outbursts — or rather learning to express your anger for once in a while? There sure are many recipes for growing as a human being. Which of them, if any, will yield the cake you’re after? And will you, in fact, be able to both have it and eat it? 😉 Not long ago, before “personal growth” became a…
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Understanding the instinctual drives — free webinar Jan 25:th!
Have you considered participating in the online course on the instincts, starting in February? In this webinar (January 25:th, two weeks before the course starts), Cicci Lyckow Bäckman will be introducing her work with the instincts and how best to understand them. The webinar is free of charge and has no strings attached — which is more than can sometimes be said of our instinctual drives … SIGN UP HERE
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Reflections regarding a radically relevant resolution
A new year. However we slice it, and whether we think in terms of goals, plans, vision boards, New Year’s resolutions or noting in particular, it’s nigh on impossible to not see an ending. A new beginning. An invitation to inventory and wrap up, to evaluate our priorities and what’s really important to us. For me, it becomes very clear that the most important thing is that I have, or that I keep finding my way back to, the connection with myself. The real connection — the awareness of what I want, perhaps most important of all: how I’m feeling…
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What inner work and self-discovery is really about
Recent events brought to light for me how harshly we seem to judge ourselves for being human, and — paradoxically — for being willing to grow. Does that sound strange? It is. But it’s also very normal. We might think we behave badly, that we appear foolish or flawed, when we’re just doing what we’re capable of in the moment — living as “me”, right now, doing what we do, with the level of presence that we have in this moment. It’s a bit ironic, as — in Enneagram circles not least of all — it should be pretty clear…
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Ecstatic merging or self-effacing diffusion? Insights on what’s what in type Nine
There is much talk of merging in connection with type Nines — and about emotional intimacy in connection with merging. Some of this points to various truths; other parts are just confusing and misleading. Here, I attempt to offer some clarity on the matter. Let’s first get clear on what we mean by merging. According to Collins English Thesaurus, it has three basic nuances: combine (blend, fuse, unite, melt into, meld etc), join (unite, fuse, consolidate, combine, etc) and melt (blend, incorporate, mingle, tone with, become lost in etc). It’s pretty clear where it points to, right? It’s not about…
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Is “positive outlook” actually a way of bypassing painful or negative aspects of life?
In Enneagram circles, we sometimes hear about “positive outlook” as a part of some types’ makeup. The term originally comes from Don Riso’s description of the Harmonic groups, that say something about each type’s coping strategies and habitual patterns of reaction; their go-to response, as it were. I wrote about the positive outlook — what it means and doesn’t really mean — the other day in the article The true meaning of ”positive outlook” in Sevens, Nines and Twos. On and off, I hear about the positive outlook being (or, at the very least, offering) a bypass mechanism; a chance…
The true meaning of ”positive outlook” in Sevens, Nines and Twos
Often in Enneagram descriptions, we see Nines, Twos and Sevens described as having a “positive outlook”. But what is this about? Surely, there are plenty of surly Nines, nagging Twos or impatient Sevens around? Are they really all that “positive”? Let’s clear up some of the confusion 😊 The term “positive outlook” came about when Don Riso discovered the set of Enneagram groups that he called the Harmonic groups — groups that don’t match the centre triads or the Hornevian groups, but have their own symmetry. This grouping refers to how the types respond to conflict, difficulties and, well, life…
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Bringing the space — our collective need for room to digest and process
When I have had Enneagram courses, we’ve looked into the Hornevian groups. We look at the different social strategies, what they are and what they contribute. Usually, we have the different groups gather and reflect on themselves and the others. And often, the same thing happens — a thing which, as I see it, illustrates a deep need in our current society. You know the Hornevian groups? It’s the three-by-three cut off the types that Don Riso and Russ Hudson named after the German psychoanalyst Karen Horney. Horney, in turn, identified three interpersonal trends in people: moving against, towards or…
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