Welcome to this blog! As you will notice, it’s not only about the Enneagram, but also on inner growth in general. However, since what I am exploring is the Enneagram, the centres and the instincts (among other things), I’m assuming that most of you know about these things. But if you don’t, there will be plenty here for you anyway 🧡
Cicci Lyckow Bäckman
The one who blogs 😉Latest posts
My type story — finding the right type after being summarily (and wrongly) defaulted into the wrong one
I’m not a great fan of typing services. Offering to work with a client, following up conclusions, looking at deeper personality structures and exploring together, yes, sure. That is working from “you” into “type” — not the other way around. On way, you get to know both yourself and the model better. And if you don’t probe deeply enough into the model to actually find your type, having someone put a label on you won’t be that helpful. My typing story — a quick three-parter My type — after some initial confusion, more down to not having really understood the…
“Anger” is not one thing — how generalisations and simplifications squelch our inner experience
Lately, I’ve seen a lot of different posts on the topic of anger on social media, in and out of the Enneagram context. How anger is destructive. How it’s constructive. How it needs to be worked through. How it is a natural part of being human and not something that needs to be fixed. How it is a sign of health — or a sign of pathology. What gives? One problem with so many of our discussions, not least those around inner growth, is born at the very start of the discussion — or even before it begins. When we…
Luring the ego into the business of truth — welcome to Self-Definition 101
The Enneagram seems to be growing exponentially in popularity, which is cool. But, let’s face it — this increased interest is not primarily because hordes of people are seeking out inner work teachers for deep transformational development. Rather, it’s because the surface appeal and applications of the model are getting more airspace. Which, in itself, is obviously fine — only, a lot of its finer points (pun unintended) tend to get lost in translation. Its real value. Its innate quality of truth — which radically sets it apart from garden variety typing systems and all manner of nifty models that…
Continue Reading Luring the ego into the business of truth — welcome to Self-Definition 101
Growth hovering — substituting a new and improved intellectual grasp for actual experience
Are you prone to growth hovering? We all are, at least on and off, since this is one of the ego’s favourite activities. But since growth hovering is not actual growth — but excels at masquerading as just that — the challenge is to sense when orientation and overview falls over into hoarding and hovering, postponing any real inner work, and thus also true inner growth. All the time there seem to pop up new, fresh approaches on the Enneagram as a whole and on the personality types found on it. And they all seem to promise greater insight, leading…
Did you only learn it, or did you actually get it? The importance of zooming out
We hear a lot about understanding the Enneagram, as such — the system, the types, the arrows, the instincts, and so on. But we hear less about understanding the teachings about these things, in themselves. The expression “it’s not rocket science” is very true here, but not in the conventional meaning. Rather, what we need to realise is, it’s not like maths. It’s not logic. It’s humanity — and sometimes, it’s life itself. Because of this, we need to approach learning about the Enneagram (and everything in connection with it and around it) differently from how we would approach, say,…
Continue Reading Did you only learn it, or did you actually get it? The importance of zooming out
Trauma, healing and our instinctual reality — your gut looking out for you
Trauma* is a therapeutic chapter of its own. There’s talk of emotional trauma, and psychological trauma, and of course physical trauma. Instincts, though, are rarely discussed — likely because we don’t tend to be aware of them as everyday companions. But maybe we ought to be. Trauma can be radical, dramatic and life-changing. But there are also smaller, sometimes but not always repeated events that are equally traumatic, even though it does not show on the outside. And then, we have big, overwhelming experiences that are just that, but that we still wouldn’t label traumatic. What makes an experience traumatic?…
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Heart and gut “distinguished” (at least for relatively creative, flowing and open minds 😉)
Some people report confusion when it comes to the expression of the gut centre and heart centre, respectively. And sure — not only for “head types” but for all of us, it’s easy to see “head” on the one side and “not head” on the other. In part, this is because our general western culture likes dividing things into dual relationships: black and white, right and wrong, day and night. As opposed to our culture, nature is not built around duality, but around “the law of three”. There tends to be three forces coming together to create the whole, rather…
”Whip-and-carrot” or self-compassion? Critical aspects of working with the instincts
Any inner work, and working with the instincts in particular, requires a generous helping of self-compassion. When the ego gets involved — and it likes to do that 😉 — sometimes we fall prey to a “whip-and-carrot” approach to our own evolution. From a purely transactional standpoint, this seems reasonable. But here’s why it’s not. In our world, we’re used to achieve things with force. Yes, all of us — not only Eights, but most everyone. Study hard, get the grades. Push yourself in exercise to get stronger and fitter. Work hard to get more money, credit, opportunities, or whatever…
A bunch of characteristics or an energetic climate — some thoughts on traits, behaviours and type descriptions
“Focus on the motivations, not traits and behaviours.” ”Anyone can do that, the important thing is WHY.” Sound familiar? Any self-respecting Enneagrammer at least tries to keep this in mind, and some of us frequently remind others of these things. So why, then, are type descriptions still packed to the hilt with descriptions of traits and behaviours? If you’ve read my blog, it’s probably not news to you that I take some issue with how Enneagram types are sometimes carelessly described, in a manner that both, in the short term, leads to confusion and, longer term, erodes the model as…
Why understanding and awareness of instinctual drives is integral to inner growth
What is real inner growth? Is it identifying and detaching from the ego? Is it owning your feelings? Is it learning to be still, to voluntarily cease thinking, to float above everyday pains and sorrows? Is it not succumbing to angry outbursts — or rather learning to express your anger for once in a while? There sure are many recipes for growing as a human being. Which of them, if any, will yield the cake you’re after? And will you, in fact, be able to both have it and eat it? 😉 Not long ago, before “personal growth” became a…
Continue Reading Why understanding and awareness of instinctual drives is integral to inner growth