The below blog entries all focus on the hard-coded, biological drives — the part of us that is still in sync with nature (but with which we aren’t always in sync 😉). Since some of them also include other tags, the same articles might show up in other collections, too.
THE THIRD KEY: The specific realm of awareness for each instinctual drive
My “5 keys to understanding the instincts” are based upon what has come up in my instincts courses as well as my general observations in discussions around this topic, and I think they clear up some of the confusion in this area. If “the instincts” don’t make sense, in my experience, it’s usually because one of these has not been taken…
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You can get lost in the light, too — mind the #1 spiritual bypass
Where inner growth is concerned, the point surely is weeding out darkness, airing out what’s been bottled up and increasingly dwell in the light — yes? Weeeell. As it turns out, hiding out in “the light” and chastising itself from there a favourite pastime for the ego. Of course, this may not be news exactly. But yet, I encounter people who…
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Love, human connection and all the interpretations of “merging” — another go at untangling the confusion
I previously wrote a blog article on the difference between merging, as it is expressed within the sexual instinct, and the dissipating blending (in)action that average Nines, in particular, are famous for engaging in when they don’t want to stand out or assert themselves. Lately, I’ve witnessed debates on much the same topic, but sometimes with the concept of merging love…
“Identification” in our instinctual drives — distinguishing personality from instinct
Did you hear about the notion that you can be either positively negatively identified with any instinctual drive — regardless of where this drive features in your preferential “stack”? Here I’ll say something about this perspective and point to some of the common misunderstandings that make this information seem like a game-changer when it comes to understanding the instincts. My response…
Trauma, healing and our instinctual reality — your gut looking out for you
Trauma* is a therapeutic chapter of its own. There’s talk of emotional trauma, and psychological trauma, and of course physical trauma. Instincts, though, are rarely discussed — likely because we don’t tend to be aware of them as everyday companions. But maybe we ought to be. Trauma can be radical, dramatic and life-changing. But there are also smaller, sometimes but not…
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”Whip-and-carrot” or self-compassion? Critical aspects of working with the instincts
Any inner work, and working with the instincts in particular, requires a generous helping of self-compassion. When the ego gets involved — and it likes to do that 😉 — sometimes we fall prey to a “whip-and-carrot” approach to our own evolution. From a purely transactional standpoint, this seems reasonable. But here’s why it’s not. In our world, we’re used to…
Why understanding and awareness of instinctual drives is integral to inner growth
What is real inner growth? Is it identifying and detaching from the ego? Is it owning your feelings? Is it learning to be still, to voluntarily cease thinking, to float above everyday pains and sorrows? Is it not succumbing to angry outbursts — or rather learning to express your anger for once in a while? There sure are many recipes for…
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Understanding the instinctual drives — free webinar Jan 25:th!
Have you considered participating in the online course on the instincts, starting in February? In this webinar (January 25:th, two weeks before the course starts), Cicci Lyckow Bäckman will be introducing her work with the instincts and how best to understand them. The webinar is free of charge and has no strings attached — which is more than can sometimes be…
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Ecstatic merging or self-effacing diffusion? Insights on what’s what in type Nine
There is much talk of merging in connection with type Nines — and about emotional intimacy in connection with merging. Some of this points to various truths; other parts are just confusing and misleading. Here, I attempt to offer some clarity on the matter. Let’s first get clear on what we mean by merging. According to Collins English Thesaurus, it has…
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Caring for babies — social adaptation or self-preservation?
Sometimes I’m asked about my view of the adaptation (or “social”) drive and its role in raising a family. “Other teachers put this in the self-preservation domain”, someone said recently. “But you see it as a feature of the social instinct. Can you say something about this?” So here, I will. The short answer is yes, I can say plenty 😉.…
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